Author of How to be Sort of Happy in Law School Offers Seven Ways to Beat Imposter Syndrome
I have something in common with Kristen Bell, Maya Angelou, Tom Hanks, and Sonia Sotomayor. Or perhaps I should say, I have someone in common. He sits on our shoulder and whispers little insults: “You are so clueless.” “Everyone can tell you’re out of place.” His name is Imposter Syndrome, and he’s a real bully.
He hung out with me every day when I was a law student. I couldn’t speak in class or talk to a professor without his incessant yammering. And even now, he shows up: in faculty meetings, at conferences, or when I’m about to speak to a big group. “What are you even doing here?” he hisses. Writing about him in How to Be Sort of Happy in Law School was a little helpful, actually—it turns out, he hates the spotlight.
I’m not sure he’ll ever go away entirely, but I’ve learned some tricks for controlling him. The good news is, he’s not as smart as he thinks he is.
Defining Imposter Syndrome
Imposter syndrome isn’t a diagnosable mental disorder or a clinically recognized “syndrome.” It’s more a constellation of thoughts, all centering around the idea that you are ill-equipped to be doing whatever it is you’re supposed to be doing, and that if anyone knew how clueless you were, you’d be exposed as a fraud. And although it is particularly rampant among high-achieving women at work, it strikes most people in some realm at some point, even in friendships, romantic relationships, hobbies, or relatively low-stakes social interactions.
Acknowledging that you’re out of your depth doesn’t mean you’re succumbing to imposter syndrome. (Only the most unbearably arrogant people feel completely equipped to do everything.) Imposter syndrome happens when you take the leap from “I don’t know how do this yet,” to “I shouldn’t be here at all.”
Suppose you’ve been coerced into coaching your 12-year-old’s baseball team even though you haven’t swung a bat in decades. A bunch of the parents sitting on the sidelines have more coaching experience than you do.
- Non-imposter syndrome response: I don’t have as much experience as other people. I hope they think I’m competent.
- Imposter syndrome response: What am I even doing here? I’m such a fraud. If anyone found out how clueless I was, I’d be exposed as a fake.
Now, imposter or not, let’s suppose you go on coaching the team. And let’s suppose that your kid’s team wins the championship.
- Non-imposter syndrome response: Hooray! I guess I learned a thing or two.
- Imposter syndrome response: I sure got lucky that the other teams were so bad!
Alternatively, let’s suppose your kid’s team takes last place.
- Non-imposter syndrome response: Darn. I guess I have a lot left to learn.
- Imposter syndrome response: I knew I was not capable of doing this.
See the difference? Imposter thinking means attributing your successes to flukes, a lack of competition, or some structural deficit in the system, while attributing your non-successes to your lack of ability or intelligence. In short, you under-identify with success and don’t see it as evidence of who you are, while over-identifying with failure and seeing it as evidence of who you are.
Imposter syndrome can be a harmful companion. Having a bully on your shoulder can mess with your feelings of self-worth, and messing with your feelings of self-worth interferes with your ability to do all the small, large, and glorious things you have the secret capacity to accomplish.
The Hard Part: How to Combat Imposter Syndrome
Once you’ve identified imposter syndrome thinking, the next step is to start working on your thought patterns. While it’s often worthwhile to probe your imposter syndrome’s roots with the help of a therapist, there are some good cognitive techniques you can use on your own:
- Pretend that the success or failure in question isn’t your own, but a good friend’s. Would you interpret their promotion as pure luck, or their manuscript’s rejection as evidence that their writing is lousy? I suspect not. See how inconsistent it is to judge your own successes and failures more harshly?
- Acknowledge that you feel like a fraud, then move on. “I’ve got no business leading this meeting, but I’m going to do it anyway. My self-doubt needn’t dictate my actions.” This reframing is particularly helpful for presentations and other high-pressure social situations.
- Focus more on other people and less on yourself. If you’re leading a team, focus on those people as people, not on what they’re thinking about you. If you’re working with a client, focus on that client herself, not on assessing your ability to help her.
- Reframe the physical symptoms of fear and anxiety. There’s empirical evidence to suggest that if your hands are trembling or your heart is pounding, you can consciously reinterpret these manifestations as excitement instead of dread, which can then transform your dread into genuine anticipation. It’s neurobiological magic. What a thrilling job interview!
- Agree to a bigger challenge than you think you can handle. This may seem counterintuitive; if you already feel like a fraud, wouldn’t this make it worse? But that’s the point. If you believe something you’re undertaking is patently absurd, you’re allowed to count anything short of quitting as a success. Think you’ll never get that short story into the New Yorker? Yeah, you probably won’t—the odds are crazy, so just send it in. The success is in not letting it sit in your desk drawer.
- Avoid procrastination and under-preparation. True, imposter syndrome usually leads people to over-prepare. But there’s an odd corollary: Seeing yourself as an imposter can also lead you to prepare too little, too late. Doing so lets you see yourself as a slacker, not a failure; you can attribute a subsequent poor performance to your lack of effort rather than your lack of intrinsic self-worth. Don’t succumb to this trap.
- Embrace beginner’s mind. Bring fresh eyes to the situation. Acknowledge that you’re learning new skills. Your imperfect apprehension of them doesn’t make you stupid, any more than you’d call a first-grader stupid for not knowing long division. You’re not good at this yet. It doesn’t mean you’re not smart.
The Long View
Imposter syndrome can be a harmful companion. Having a bully on your shoulder can mess with your feelings of self-worth, and messing with your feelings of self-worth interferes with your ability to do all the small, large, and glorious things you have the secret capacity to accomplish. You don’t need someone telling you, “That was just luck!” every time you make a shot and “loser!” every time you miss one.
The longer you’ve had imposter syndrome riding around on your shoulder, the tougher he is to dislodge, so be patient with yourself as you try out these strategies. Everyone’s bully is different. Some approaches won’t work in academia, but will be helpful in social situations. Some approaches won’t work the first few times you try them, then will suddenly shift into place for you. Be persistent. Try to see this as an ongoing, highly experimental process. Keep fine-tuning the strategies to see which ones are best suited for your cognitive wiring. And don’t forget that life’s most interesting challenges are the ones that you’re not sure—at first—you have the chops to handle.
Such a great read." My self doubt needn't dictate my actions" is so powerful. As a photographer I'm always having self doubt and have referred to it as a monkey on my back.
Posted by: Michelle Gunton Photography | November 30, 2018 at 02:54 PM